Kid, You'll Move Mountains!

It's just an ordinary day And it's all your state of mind

At the end of the day, you've just got to say it's alright.

                                                                                                   - Great Big Sea

My sister Jess, who is the queen of fun mail, sent a package this week with a "Green Eggs and Ham" onesie for Sophie. It is by far the most fun onesie that fits her at the moment, the fun factor being upped by the "Dr Seuss" across the bum. 'Fun' trumps 'cute' and 'pretty' just about every day for me. Let's be serious, in a couple years, she's going to have something to say about the clothes we put her in, so I need to get my fun in now.

I've been thinking about Dr. Seuss lately, and how perhaps I need to re-read some of his not-only-for-kids books. On Friday evenings, Sophie comes with me to hang out with the Youth at The Element. Last week, she lasted until nine, but when her happy shouting and 'finding shoes to eat' activities were seriously disrupting the movie, she was scooted out to the nursery. After I managed to get her to drift off and I had read all the books in the room, my eyes drifted to a big Dr. Seuss poster on the wall that declares, "Kid! You'll Move Mountains!". I remember hearing this book and loving this thought as a child and young teenager, but I think somewhere along the way I think I stopped believing it could be true. At some point, I started doubting my gifts, my intelligence, my abilities and making more of my introverted personality than necessary.

The truth is, I often struggle with feeling inadequate. At this point in my life, because I am at home much of the time with Sophie, this translates into feeling crumby about what I haven't managed to get done over the course of the day. Any day, I could give a "To Do" list of about 20 things I want to accomplish, and a "Ta Da" list of maybe three of those items. I have a Self-Improvement goal list with goals at least eight years old. I have a pile of books I feel like I should read, messes to be cleaned up, food to organize and a yard that needs some serious attention. Because I have an unrealistic idea of what I 'should' be able to do with my life, I'm not able to enjoy the feeling of accomplishment that comes with checking some things off my list.

I need to remind myself that feeling defeated and BEING defeated are two different things. The battle, almost always, is in my mind. So today I chose to fight. Today I need to speak some truth into my life. So here we go...

Stephanie. You can still move mountains. Later on, that mountain may look like a new career to explore, a stage to perform on, or a marathon to run. Today, your mountain may be a pile of laundry, and that's ok. When you get to the bottom of it, or half-way through, or use it for a fun smooshy pile to play with Sophie on, you don't have to feel crumby about not getting to the bathroom floor yet.

The house DOES NOT NEED to sparkle daily. So stop feeling guilty about it.

At this season in my life, my focus needs to be on loving Kyle and loving Sophie. She needs to be  fed and changed and dressed, cuddled and sung to and danced with. I need to eat properly, sleep, exercise and hang out with Jesus. I need to love Kyle. If I can honestly say at the end of a day that these things have been done, then I am a success.

The way life is right now is just that - the way it is RIGHT NOW. This season is not permanent. The things I'm worrying about today just need to be prayed about and left alone. My worrying about it doesn't do anything but keep me too occupied to actually do anything productive.

The things on my to-do list are often unimportant and not urgent. The sheer number of items makes finishing the list impossible for any normal human, so why do I routinely allow myself to feel defeated at the end of the day when it turns out I'm not a super-human? It's really ok that I'm just Stephanie. 

I am not a mess, although sometimes I may look like one. I am not a failure, although I sometimes feel like one. The truth is, I am God's masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10). I can attack today joyfully. I can be singing today whether or not the counters get cleaned. This evening I can throw the unfinished 'to do' list to the wind and hang out with my family in my messy living room. Whether or not we enjoy being together does not depend on the cleanliness of the floor.

So I don't need to be upset that my mountain isn't the same one I'll be moving in a few years. I'll get to that one later. In this season of my life, with the gifts and talents and tasks given to me for this moment, as Stephanie, even though they may look different than before, I can still move mountains.