Won't you run to see St. Judy's Comet roll across the sky
and leave a spray of diamonds in its wake
I long to see St. Judy's Comet sparkle in your eyes
when you awake, when you awake
- Paul Simon
On August 24th, I realized with amazement it has been a whole six months since I first kissed the soft squishy cheeks of my beautiful little daughter. For six months I have carried her in my arms instead of my belly. There have been six months of diaper changes, bottle feedings, swaddling, soothing, sleep deprivation, and new discoveries. I've spent six months marveling at how this one little person with her chubby legs and wiggly little body, sparkling blue eyes and a big toothless grin has taken over my entire world, waking and sleeping.
This week, the theme of the Joy Project has been SLEEP. This seems pretty basic but important enough to spend some time focusing on because if I haven't slept enough I am not fun to be around. This is bad news for Kyle and Sophie, because, in the words of Tracy Byrd, "When Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." I think if I made an effort to sleep enough my physical and emotional stresses would be seriously reduced. So sleep it is.
I do have a confession though: I hit a major stumbling block in this area directly related to my first major parenting goof, and man oh man, have I been paying the price. For a couple months now, Sophie has not needed any food at night time. She eats enough during the day and is quite happy to go from 9:00 pm to about 6:30 am without a bottle. This is wonderful. However... I have still been getting up with her sometimes up to four times a night to pop her soother back in, rub her back, or to jiggle her and sing her to sleep. After a particularly frustrating afternoon (2:30 - 6:00 pm) of trying to soothe an exhausted baby and get her down for a nap, I decided I like eating and having clean clothes too much to devote this much time to trying to get Sophie to sleep every day. I recruited the help of Tracy Hogg, the baby whisperer, and discovered... I have created a soother dependency.
I really have nothing against soothers, I had just been letting her use it too much. When Sophie was about 6 weeks old, she discovered a cute, but very noisy method of self-soothing. She would wake up and find her little thumb and index finger on her left hand and suck vigorously to go back to sleep. I should have just let her do this; she was figuring out how to get back to sleep on her own! However, as she was still sleeping in her little bassinet beside our bed, and I was an exhausted Mama struggling to find time to rest enough, I carefully removed her little fingers from her mouth and popped in the soother every time. And it worked beautifully. However, when Sophie woke up at night, she was unable to find it and put it in her mouth herself, and needed me or Kyle to help her to find it and get back to sleep. At first I was delighted to help her with the soother and jiggle her to sleep; it sure beat the hour-long night-time feedings of the early weeks. It has been half a year since I slept through the night though, and it is starting to catch up with me, mentally and physically.
So... what have we done about it? No more soother for Sophie! Yep. That's right. We just quit. And let me tell you, she was NOT happy about it. The first night she was inconsolable. We cuddled her and jiggled her, sang to her, patted her back, paced, shushed and rocked our little girl for an hour and a half until she had worked herself into an absolute tizzy. She knew what she wanted and she was not going to be fooled into sleeping without it. Eventually she was hungry enough for a bottle, drank 8 oz and fell asleep out of sheer exhaustion. We were all wiped the next day and it seemed what we were trying was somewhat counter-productive. However... Night two... after putting up a bit of a fuss, she slept for EIGHT HOURS STRAIGHT! Nine the next night, eight the night after that. She cries a bit before she sleeps but has rediscovered how to self-soothe, and after only one night is getting herself back to sleep without outside help. I am feeling more rested, our baby is sleeping and happier when awake, and less time is being devoted to helping Sophie sleep. Thank you Tracy Hogg!
Becoming a mum brings you to a new level of loving and needing sleep. This new development is going to make a huge difference in my emotional health. I feel more able to "laugh at the days to come" (Proverbs 31: 25). Sleeping though the night is just so wonderful; I had forgotten what it felt like. I'm looking forward to joy seeking in a more awake state. Bring on the fall!
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